Trying a change

So it has been awhile for a lot of things. I am very very close to the highest weight I have ever been. My highest was 206 and I am a couple off it I think. I can't remember what my last weight was. I am not totally sure what is going on. I know my realization of how much the concussion has affected me has been hard. It has been quite depressing but I am going to just try and move on. Course writing that I suddenly think I better stop and write down everything that I am supposed to do this week that I haven't written down yet as guarantee I will forget. I hate that.

OK, list of things I need to do is done. So anyway, I went for a walk tonight. My husband wasn't happy as it was dark and rainy but I NEEDED to do it. I walked for 23 minutes and for me that is something right now. But I am done doing this:

I only walked 23 minutes.

I probably just barely walked over a mile.

Who knows if my heart rate got up to what it should be for a good burn.

Done with that! Not a good way of thinking and I am going to try my darndest to move forward and think more positive. I was talking to a friend the other day and was telling her how I used to read a book or a chapter to each kid every night and how much they enjoyed it and sometimes I did to. I was saying how bad I felt that yet again I quit at something I had started. She said that she looks at it this way instead, "Wow. Look what I did and how fun it was. Great job. Now what should I do next." She said it was not a matter of that I didn't keep doing it. It was a matter that I did something fun and different for a time and it worked great. Now let's try something new. It really made me feel a lot better.

So yes I walked tonight and guess what? I went a WHOLE 23 MINUTES!!! And then guess what? I came home and grabbed that Super Big Gulp cup and filled it up with delicious ice and water and guzzled that baby. I was thirsty apparently. And it felt good to do it and felt good to know I had done it. Who cares how far or how long or how hard. What matters is I did it!

So grab a tall glass of ice water and toast yourself for whatever accomplishment you did today and enjoy it and smile!

Oh and I also did a load of laundry while I am doing a pat on the back moment. :)

Push-ups

So after my last post I was totally ready to get it in gear. OK...kind of. It is Hershey mint truffle and mint M&M season. And I am ADDICTED!!!!! In a really bad way. Course then I got bronchitis. That held on forever. Then my boy got the flu. With this child you don't get a lot done because he likes to have you right next to him when he is sick. I had done a load of laundry and was trying to fold it and he immediately came and asked if I could come back and sit with him. I can't turn that down as someday he won't want to do that. Then I got the flu. I still have super bad migraines everyday so I have not attempted to workout yet. But my boys have. :)

Milking it.

Awhile back I had someone tell me that I hadn't been updating this blog very well. Sigh.....I know. So here is an update. The bad news. Last time I weighed (last Monday) it was a gross 188.2. Oh pickles! Forgot this is positive. :) Before August I had been exercising daily and sometimes twice daily. Yes I still ate crap food but my view is that at least I am doing something. And for those many people that constantly tell me you have to restrict calories AND exercise...I KNOW. I just hope that eventually my calories watching will come next but that at least I am exercising. And actually when I do really really exercise I do sometimes turn down that Ben and Jerry's knowing how many hours of exercise it is to burn that off. Then come early August I went hiking and fell. I got a nice gash on my forehead as I had my son on my back so I braced my fall with my head.Along with that came a nice big goose egg, bruising, and a horrible concussion. So for a few weeks I was down and I mean down. I sat in the recliner as much as I could. My kids watched non-stop TV just about. I was horribly sick. And I was so miserable that I started medicating with food. When the dizziness and headaches started subsiding then it was better but still not 100%. After about 6 weeks I had gone a few days with no migraines so I thought I would try exercising. It was very discouraging. I had done 20 minutes and had a horrible migraine that put me in bed. I tried it a few more times and still would have to stop after 10 minutes. It was so hard for me. And of course I kept medicating with food. :(. So I had slowly, and I mean slowly, trying to add more and more exercise in. 3 weeks ago I decided that I think I could do it and tried a full blown workout. Guess what? I made it. I had a headache for a couple hours but not a migraine and not for several hours. So that whole week I did P90X workouts. Then hubby one day said, "Let's wait till after I get back from this trip before we continue with workouts." I was feeling lazy and jumped on that band wagon. :) Then we started back up. Then I had major major major busy stress and had a neck injury to where it hurt to move. So I didn't exercise. Then of course after that? I got bronchitis. Oh yippee. I am not sure I will workout tomorrow as I still have been quite sick but I would like to. We will see.

So there you go. That is why I haven't blogged. Haven't lost weight, haven't really been able to exercise until recently, and have been in the dumps about this concussion. I am about 90% better now. I still have a TON of memory problems. It is very very frustrating. The thing I was finally able to do that I hadn't since getting it though? Read. Ahhhh, I missed reading and after the concussion it was hard to read. I would get headaches and struggle with the words. So the only reading I did was to my kids. So now if I could get my memory back we would be good. As for now, I try and write down EVERYTHING as I do forget. Have a super productive week people!

Oh. he he. As for the title of milking it? I was explaining to a friend once that I could not believe I had forgot something (sometimes my lack of memory still surprises me) and said that I still have problems since the concussion. She came back with, "Oh. So your still milking that concussion?" So guess what folks. Yes, I am still "milking" that concussion. :)

HOTNESS!

Check it out! The girl in this photo is the lead singer of a band called The Mending Seed. She is totally my idol for how I want to look at the end of this process. Major hotness going on there. And I know I shouldn't say this, being married and all, but the guys are some nice eye candy too. he he They have a CD on sale that I can not wait to get in the mail. And the best part....the girl is my cousin. So YES you doubting Thomas's, I could totally look like her. Seeing as how we are related and all. Check them out on facebook too. Darn computer won't let me attatch a link so check them out by the band name on facebook and youtube.

Exercise progress

My kiddos have been sick, I am guessing they got it from the gym. But I hate to say it, I am taking them back. I will just try to be more proactive about keeping them clean. But I can not wait to get back to the gym. My weight sizes are not that big at home and I really miss the bigger workout there. But I still have kept up with my exercising, every day. I have even stayed up till 11:30 pm once to make sure I got it in. I feel so much better. On most days I have great energy, when I get enough sleep. :) And when I was camping with the family I raced my daughter back and forth to the car to load our gear and I was surprised that I wasn't winded when I did that. Normally I would be so I am super pumped about that. Yay!

Missed me?

You know you did! he he. So a run down of the happenings. On June 1st I started the HCG diet. Can I tell you that I loved and hated those first fat loading days. Then by day 3 I couldn't wait to start the actual diet because I felt so terrible from all the junk food. I did ok. I could have done better if I hadn't cheated so much. :( But I did lose a total of 17 pounds! Yay for me! Since stopping the HCG I have stayed between the same range and started to get quite frustrated with myself. So I started exercising and....gasp......counting those darn calories. But I am down 19 pounds now!!!!! Waaa hoooooo! I have not seen that number on the scale in awhile and can't wait to see lower numbers. I won't go off the starting weight of this blog as I actually think I gained a bit. Oh man...just went back and looked at my starting weight. I gained a lot. UGH! I started HCG at 199.2. Shudder! I am now at 180! So I am quite excited and totally counting it as 19 and not the other. :)

So things I have discovered in the last 2 months. You actually do feel better when you exercise. I have found myself even exercising at 10 PM if that is the only time I can squeeze it in. And 2nd? Eating right is a totally complete lifestyle change. You have to commit to it FOREVER. These will be hard, I know. But I am looking forward to the adventure at the same time. Happy exercising!

You have to be kidding me!

So I really thought I was doing better. HA!!!! A BIG FAT HA!!! I have been so busy, so tired, and having some major back pain. But I still thought all was ok. Then I went back to my first post to see my weight. GREAT!!! I am bigger! What?!? Seriously? Not by much as I can't remember the exact weight I am today but by about a pound or less. What a joke. 5 months and I have not been successful. Argh! Very frustrating. In June I plan to try something new and let's hope this works. Because this is crazy. My back pain has actually been so bad that I have not exercised. I looked up back pain and it suggested rest. That will help my weight loss. But sometimes you have to do what you can to help the cause move further right?